Using Two Cows to Explain the Theory of Government

Cows and Government

Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and give one to your neighbor.

Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and promises you milk but you starve.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.

Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Bain Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.

Redistributionism: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support someone else who already got a free cow from the government.

A CHRISTIAN: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? (My note: This is by someone who does not know what a Republican really is. A Republican would teach them how to do something so they could buy their own cow!)

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

A CAPITALIST: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.